AIRPLANE BOYS: SLEEP

"Some people dream of success, while others try to reach it..."

A few months ago I did a little feature on a couple of talented guys I'm proud to call my friends: the Airplane Boys. Since then Beck Motley and Bon Voyage have been working hard to spread their music, promote their image, and just simply CREATE.
Thanks to all that grinding, along with the help of the AMAZINGLY talented Justin Create and Neon Gorilla team, they've released a video for one of my fave APB songs: Sleep. It was shot right in Toronto and I'm so impressed by the concept, and how clean the shots are. And believe me, these guys are taaalented. Look out for their upcoming projects, and request "Sleep" on your local radio stations! To download the single, visit:
http://theairplaneboys.bandcamp.com/track/sleep


Here it is, hope you enjoy it as much as we all have....

balance

Sometime this past weekend, I think I semi-consciously conjured/thought/sent positive vibes... I noticed that, because the past couple of day's I feel serene, well-balanced, and somehow a little wiser. You get these little random moments in life where things become clear- relationships you've been trying to fix suddenly seem harmonious, decisions you've been avoiding making suddenly seem clear as ever, and issues you have either internalized or agonized over finding their solution just work themselves out. I think the problem, though, is that we are sooo caught up in focusing on what's wrong and what obstacles limit us to absorb or appreciate these moments.

But like I always say, whether or not its clear to you in the moment, the universe (that is, whatever you perceive it to be) ALWAYS returns to its balance...

TALENT IS SO ATTRACTIVE

Threw a few of these earlier in the blog, and I realized I haven't in a while.

Came across this video, apparently its kinda old, but this chick plays so well! Not to mention this is one of my favourite acoustic songs and she can sing!

9/11

I remember being jostled awake frantically, and opening my mouth to protest, only to shut it again as soon as the pilot's voice came back over the speaker to confirm what he had announced moments earlier. I remember the utter confusion, the dazed expressions of everyone around me, trying to make any sense of what they had all just learned. I remember watching dozens of my fellow passengers rush to the nearest TV  as we landed back at the airport. I remember stopping in my tracks and finally noticing the hundreds of conversations simultaneously taking place around me- the grief, disbelief, and perplexion I could hear buzzing all around me. But most of all I remember the silence. The hush that slowly fell through the crowd around me- some with their eyes glued to the TV screens, some with disoriented expressions still trying to understand what was happening, and some simply comforting a silently-weeping friend, relative, stranger...

And in the days to follow, I remember witnessing kinship, selflessness and an overall sense of "coming together" that my 11-year-old mind had rarely got to glimpse before. I remember the blankets being shared all around, the smiling, reassuring faces of airport staff, and quite simply, just the very act of "being there for one another" that everyone seemed to be actively participating in.

On September 10, 2001 my family and I boarded a late flight from Cairo, Egypt to Amsterdam for what we assumed was a routine stopover before continuing out journey back to Toronto. On September 11, while en route from Amsterdam to Toronto, throngs of eager fliers, myself included, were interrupted mid-flight by the voice of a confused pilot. He announced that "due to some attacks on the World Trade Centre in New York City, the airspace over North America has been 'closed'", forcing us to turn around and reroute back to Amsterdam. Just like that. Matter-of-factly, but in a way that suggested there was actually an overall lack of any facts. For the next few hours, strangers from all walks of life who surrounded me, joined me in annoyance and confusion as we tried to recollect what had just happened, and plot how they could carry on their plans despite this disturbance to their schedule. I think I may have actually been upset that I would miss yet another day in "Back-to-School" week.

It was only hours later, when we finally landed after what seemed like the longest flight I had been on, did the confusion give way to shock, horror, disgust and disbelief. Who was responsible for this? How did it happen? Was anything else happening that we didn't know of? What would be the global response? Would they catch the bad guys? THESE were just some of questions and thoughts that popped in and out of everyone's mind, while the images of burning towers and crashing planes played over and over again on CNN, which seemed to occupy every TV screen.

This was how I personally experienced September 11. To carry on and retell the rest of my experiences that week- stuck in the airport in a foreign country, contracting a bad liver infection that caused me to wound up in the airport hospital, and eating those god-awful ham and apricot jelly sandwiches- that just seems to overshadow the day itself. The infamous day that caused mass confusion, inestimable grief and loss, and a deep sense of comradery and community. The day that would forever etch itself in history among great wars, life-altering inventions, and revolutions. The day that forced everybody collectively AND individually, to face the reality of time, alter our psyches, look to others for help and condolence, and most of all face ourselves and the truth that only seemed to make itself visible at this time. That, no matter how cliché it sounds, or how hard our parents have tried to drive this notion through our head, time and reality can never actually be measured. That the values, things we've come to "know" about life, and all the reassurances fed to us, are futile and can be irreparably changed at any given moment. And that in the gloomiest, darkest moments when war, pain, and fear run rampant, one only needs to look to his neighbour to find sanity and an anchor again...

Prescriptions for Life

"Heaven and hell are only found on earth, where we have the capacity to create them..."

untitled for a reason

Today something inspired me to write. Maybe it was the feeling of impending doom, mixed with misplaced excitement about the new school year starting next week. Maybe my To-Do List was the inspiration- after weeks and weeks I can finally cross "update blog !!!!!!!!" off the list. Maybe it was the concerned phone calls or confused conversations I've recently had regarding my absence from the writing scene.

Or maybe, just maybe, it was that little thing within me that propelled me to start this little project in the first place. That tiny, almost inaudible voice that reminds me time and again that I simply do not exist as who I am without this outlet. I have forged an identity, I've had opportunities to share what would otherwise have been kept bottled up in me, and most importantly I have been reminded that if you actually believe in what you do, the sky cannot even limit you- all through my writing. Writing has kept me sane and grounded, giving me a sense of purpose and a sense of escape from day-to-day realities.

So what exactly has prevented me from updating my blog since July? It couldn't have been time limits- indeed my break from school, reduced work schedule and long nights spent awake would have been ideal for logging on now and then to write. Clearly, my choice to neglect this project over these past couple of weeks is something fueled from within.

Writing to me has been like your typical love story, full of ups and its share of downs (and anyone who knows me well enough knows I'm a failure in the "love" department). It has been like an honest, spontaneous, unconditional lover that helps bring out the best in me. It has led me to pause and honestly reflect on aspects of my own life as equally as I muse about the world around me. At the same time, I've seen the reproachful, critical side of this lover who constantly forces me to face my innermost thoughts, feelings, fears, and insecurities.

But this doesn't mean I should ignore this huge part of my life like a bad ex you avoid at the mall. That simply isn't even an option, because I LOVE writing. I love it because as much as I have shown my true self to it, I've allowed it to see Me from the inside out- a "privilege" I have long held back from my own loved ones. And because of this, I see my personal writing not so much as a task or chore or something I have to get over with, but a natural reflex to seeing someone's innermost being- mine.

That must be what led me back to this direction.

Day 25

DAY 25

Alas, I have almost reached the halfway point of my trip, and yet it feels like theres so much more to do!! Just an idea of some things I have planned for the next couple of weeks:
- Monday we'll be arriving in Sharm El Sheikh (Red Sea resort town)
- July 11 my sister and I will be heading off to see Big Ben, cute Brits, and the Redlight District in our mini Euro-trip
- July 20 we'll be heading back to Alexandria
... and from there, we will decide where this trip will be taking us.


Right now, I'm updating my blog on Mac-y en route from Alexendria to Cairo. As we drive further and further away from Egypt's second largest/most populated, I feel it is only appropriate to quickly share some of the people, moments, stories and experiences I have encountered along the way...
Let me just say, as the younger sister and youngest child in my family, habit has turned into impulse, and I strongly believe one of my impulses is to be a good listener. My limitless curiosity has always sort of led me to be interested in other people's stories, and I often find myself randomly thinking of a funny anecdote or heart-warming/heart-breaking story that was shared by someone I met along this crazy journey of life.
My memory is terrible at best, but sometimes its like my brain erases some of my own silly memories in order to cherish someone else's experience. I am a strong believer that whether young or old, rich or poor, comical or wise, everyone has a story and if we take the time to listen, there is an infinite amount of of wisdom, experience and knowledge to be had from these stories.

Take for example "El Ma'alam" (a term indicting respect), the owner of the shisha cafe near our apartment in Alexandria. After long nights turned mornings spent at his cafe playing backgammon, smoking shisha and ordering every imaginable variety of fresh fruit juice, El Ma'alam began to warm up. The more he welcomed us whole-heartedly and the more I witnessed his little kind gestures that earned him the neighbourhood's respect, the more I too began to take a liking to him.
El Ma'alam is a man strikingly young for his job position, with a kind smile and nervous habit if biting his fingernails. He started off working in some of the many shisha cafes dotting the city's landscapes, before he opened up his own place at 28 years old. Now in order to understand some of his predicaments, I guess one must have a vague idea of how corrupt Egypt's government and bureacracy is (I'll leave it at that). Earlier this year, the government decided to ban the use of shisha's (the famed water pipes, also known as hooka's, that are a fundamental part of Egyptian culture). Now, as with many of the ever increasing laws and prohibitions, there's always a way to sidestep the rules- but this comes at a price. For El Ma'alam, the price comes in the form of regular bribes he pays to the inspectors that come visiting his cafe- this vaguely reminds one of the old Mafia days in which shopkeepers were forced to pay money to mob bosses for "protection". Hah, government racketeering.. I like that (not!).
Such is one of the problems El Ma'alam- a man who has filled the void his abandoning father left by covering the costs of his sisters' weddings and sending his mother on the Hajj to Mecca- must deal with.


Thus, this is just one story among many of one man. Again, some of the stories I come across are funny as hell. Some are filled with awe-inspiring adventures, and some with heart-warming stories that remind me of the innate kindness and comradery human beings can have for one another. And some remind me that beyond every smile there lies an experience of loss, injustice or undeserved suffering...

                    

Alexandria

“Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think.”

--Robert Henri

Just thought I'd give you all a peek into some of my time spent here.
These are some of the photos, unedited, that I snapped during my stay in Alexandria, Egypt.


Alexandria is Egypt's largest sea port, extending 32 km along the Mediterranean Sea.
Founded in 331 B.C by Alexander the Great, it became one of the most famous cities of the ancient world. 


Above anything else I did here, I loved going to the beach and walking along the coast at night..
Enjoy the photos!

Until next time!

Prescriptions for Life

"I'm starting with the man woman in the mirror,
I'm asking her to make a change...."

- MJ
(RIP)

                                      

One city, 20 world leaders, thousands of protestors

ASooo, since I couldn't be home to join in on all the festivities, I thought I would share some of the action that took place over this past weekend in Toronto, where the G:20 Summit was held...

Aaaaand, finally for the grand finale,

Changes...

I sat in the same cafe, smoking a new flavour of shisha while enjoying me same ice cream flavour of choice- mango.
I admired the same Mediterranean sea scene I had often thought about back home...
Familiar faces surrounded me: the same cafe owner, the same janitor and the same waiters who'd served me several times on my last trip here two years ago. Admittedly, I didn't give it much thought. And then a familiar face passed by that forced me to pause and reflect...
It was that of a boy I also remembered from my last trip, walking down the street cafe to cafe (as so many others do), earning his bread by selling a load of overpriced "Made in China" goods. I remembered how he had etched his image into my mind being a kid so many years younger than me, out so late toiling in a fruitless job that probably earned his family next to nothing. I remember wishing I could buy his whole load of goods, a naïve thought my young mind had concocted.
I remember my parents trying to comfort me with glamourized thoughts of how he probably had lots of money and would return home to a big dinner.
But this boy walking in front of me, pausing every so often to readjust the heavy load, his tanned face hardened with new lines I didn't remember- giving him the appearance of someone beyond his years- was NOTHING like the protagonist of their fairytale...
I guess some things really do change, and some don't...

Day 18

DAY 18

So, damn.. I haven't written here in a while. It's like the more free time I have, the less time I have to dedicate to writing..or blogging...or doing whatever it is I'm doing here.
So needless to say, I haven't had to give up the little bits of modern technology that have made my life both comfortable and enjoyable back home. Nights spent locked up in this apartment with my iTouch, Blackberry, Macbook and digicam often cause me to forget I've even left Toronto, and I have yet to decide if thats a good thing or a bad thing.

Anyways, so much and so little have happened that I don't even know where to begin...
My sister's decided to adopt a kitten we found, and we've named him 'El Masry' (The Egyptian). She's cute and all, but I definitely remember why I do not wish to have babies anytime soon.
I've seen about half a dozen movies, due to the late theatre showtimes (think 1 am), and lack of other activities to do in Alexandria. I really enjoyed 'Robinhood', largely because of its historical focus and cast of brilliant actors, like Russel Crowe and Kate Blanchett.
Remember,
"Rise and rise again
Until lambs become lions"
(It'll make sense if you watch it, trust me).

Ummm, above all, I've got to enjoy some beautiful beaches and have greedily soaked up some Vitamin D.  Its about the only time I feel safe and/or inspired to go on solo walks. I've snapped some beautiful phtotos and seen some scenes (hehe, how Jay Z of me) that have truly inspired new awe and amazement at all that nature has to offer, if only we'd shut the hell up and listen with our eyes.

I guess the anthropologist in me is fascinated by the Egyptian people. Their infinite patience and friendliness is only outweighed by their child-like curiosity. They have a poetic, articulate way of speaking their mind. The combination of endearing shyness, and admirable boldness I've seen in these people is something that I severely need in my life. Most of all, I respect how humble and grateful to God they are, and although we often have completely polar views on religion, morality and philosophy, I am able to learn something new from each person I encounter...

to the leading man in my life...

Dear Papa,
As I sit here smoking shisha with you in the country you taught me to take pride in and love, I can't help but think back to when I was a kid...
To the days when you used to sit me on your lap and tell me about your trips around the world, forever instilling in me the need to explore everything around me. To the days you used to swing me by my arms and tickle me till I begged you to stop, forever reminding me that youth is in the heart. To the nights when I would sit in by bed and wait for the key in the door, ensuring that you were home from a long day of work and providing me with the key values of hard work and persistence. And to all the times you would buy me a Happy Meal and wait patiently for me to eat it before going home to eat your own meal, reminding me what real dedication and selflessness is.
Papa, I've always felt blessed to have a special bond with you. Your disciplined upbringing and no-nonsense attitude would subside for your children, long enough to let us enjoy your underlying playfullness, infectious sense of humour and rare gentleness. You never once put yourself above us and you would go through any amount of bullshit to make sure your family was happy and satisfied, and for that I will forever be grateful.
In always being honest, sometimes to the point of brashness, you taught me so much about the world. You taught me to love with my actions rather than my words, never to take no for an answer, and to do anything in my power for those I love. In your silly anecdotes and countless shared memories, you made me feel just how truly important I am. Ill always remember how happy you would say you were when you learned you would be having another girl, and that no amount of boys would replace that. In doing so, you taught me to be a strong and independent women, and never to rely on a man (other than you, that is!).
You will never truly understand how much I appreciate every good deed, lesson, action and word you have given me. You will never know how much joy I felt looking down at your proud, approving face as you watched me accept awards, receive diplomas, deliver speeches and be the best person I know how to be.
I don't know how much time I have left in this world with you, and I don't know if I could ever really express how I feel about you. Although you always tried your best to keep me from thinking about how the unforgiving hands of time will logically take you away in its grip one day, possibly soon, I know that I will ALWAYS treasure all of these things I have grown to love about you, and your beautiful soul.
I pray that I can one day marry someone who is half the man you are, but I know there will only ever be one Superman in my life, and that is you...
I love you my protector, entertainer, care-giver, provider, and hero.
I love YOU papa, always and forever..

Love,
A grateful, loving daddy's girl

umofa

*cue Alicia Keys' "Superwoman"...*

The oppressive heat, combined with the impossible traffic and the over-capacity car allowed me to momentarily slip into a state of deep contemplation, daydreaming of sorts.

The images of women covered head to toe, outnumbered by males of all ages faded in and out of my mind.
I pictured a land in which roles were reversed. A world where men were forced, or "chose" (as many of them argue), to cover their own head and bodies in loose burkas and hijabs. A world in which everyday these men were reminded of their subordinate positions, by virtue of their confinement in the head coverings. How would life then be if they were forced to brave scorching heat and crowded streets in an item designed to hide them, keeping them forgotten behind masks...

We pride ourselves on having the latest technology and weaponry, building awe-inspiring architecture, and having sophisticated communications systems. But the moment we are required to show one ounce of humanity to fellow man, we begin to devolve...

I've been here 4 days and while its true that I had to get used to things like having no microwave, or having unreliable WIFI, I've also seen human spirit and the value of comradery far outweighing anything I've witnessed back home in the "modern world". People back home worship the mighty dollar, praising everything that brand new luxury car represents. Meanwhile down here, I witnessed a crowd of strangers rush to the aide of a car crash victim, bare-handedly extracting his body from the wreck of his once brand new, American car...

What is modernity?

Greetings from the sunny side

DAY 1

Half an hour into the flight I’ve already had 4 shots of the Malibu Rum we’ve bought at the duty-free shop. I’m already craving a milkshake and a juicy burger, but the impressive movie selection keeps me occupied from missing anything else. I also foolishly packed my iPod Touch in one of my checked in bags, and I’m suddenly craving a Drake fix. The flight crew is overly friendly, and I wonder why one of the attendants keeps offering my seat neighbour (mommy) glasses of champagne.

Watching out of the window as we took off from Toronto was one of the most significant images I’ve seen in a while. The CN tower was clearly visible, and the contrasting lakes surrounding the building clusters was a scene only really appreciated at a view from the top….

(pictures will be up anytime now)






DAY 2

I’m sitting here on the balcony in Cairo, jamming to some Bob Marley joints while smoking a joint (yeeea, stop judging!) and I wish everyone could see this view.

I don’t know if it’s that Middle Eastern hash making me feel this way, or the major jet lag I’m experiencing after getting no sleep in the last 48 (I think :S) hours. But I just feel so enlightened… I guess you never really appreciate that overall meditative, serene feeling you can get just from a change of your settings. I actually sat here, watching the sun go down behind the abyss of crowded traffic, perpetual state of construction, and (admittedly) overwhelming noise and people traffic that comprises this city that LITERALLY never sleeps. I guess those two last statements almost contradicted themselves- how can noise pollution and crowdedness be meditating, relaxing? I donno, I guess I just feel most in my comfort zone when I can feel life around me, pulsating. Maybe in a weird way I take solace in knowing that people just simply exist, irrespective of what I do or how anyone else lives… people just are…

Not to mention, I now know what euphoria feels like, as I just learned I get WiFi access here!

Gaah… this is starting off a goood note..

Bon Voyage

As I sit here backing up my Macbook files/painting my nails/paying off bills/getting some last doses of Canadian TV amidst the chaotic mess a week's worth of packing has left in my room, I cannot help but come back to write some last thoughts before I head out into the unknown (haha),
In 2 hours I will be sitting aboard a Lufthansa 18 hour flight headed to Cairo, Egypt with a stopover in Frankfurt. My mother is still erratically trying to stuff into our already overpacked luggage the last of the gifts for the 4000 cousins we suddenly have, as my sister runs up the international minutes booking hotel rooms we somehow overlooked. As the minutes draw closer I'm crossing off TO-DO list points at a more rapid pace; as I sit here typing and multi-functioning I'm crossing off tasks over-excitedly.

Sooo, off the top of my head I'm gonna miss
- sleeping in my own bed
- The Hills and The City
- my bookshelf (+ the solace I take in my personal library)
- Creamsicles!
- late summer nights w/my homays
- wind + being able to breathe (humid place, Egypt is)
- sidewalks & sophisticated traffic systems

... among various food items.

Anyways, I'm hoping this trip is all I wanna make it out to be. I'm filled with fond memories of summers spent in this exotic, far off yet home-y land and I can only hope there will be that much adventure packed into the next two months. I haven't been back in a couple of years, and indeed I am diving into this trip with the mindset of a meditative, overworked, appreciative university student.
So, fellow explorers:
May you brave treacherous social conditions, uncooperative weather, unbearably intimidating opportunities and rebellious plans to have
a
       wonderful
                           summer!!


.. see you all in August, yet I'll be with you in spirit on here...

prescriptions for Life

"If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies;

Succeed anyway"

visual diary?

Sooo, my blackberry is always by my side.
Sometimes things happen, and then I happen to catch them on my blackberry.

Thus,
my visual diary.

visual diary

30 62 Day Challenge?

So let me just come out and say: over the past few weeks, as school ended, the number of inhaled blunts became countless, and my daily rituals almost always involved cannabis consumption, I thought what if I stopped fucking with Mary J for a pre-planned period of time? Thus, the 30 day challenge was born!

Now, before all you pot enthusiasts jump down my throat, and before I get phone calls from all my closest friends and confidants telling me I've lost my marbles, I guess I owe an explanation. I, like scores of people I know and millions of people around the world, often enjoy sitting back, relaxing with a close friend or a group of 'em and smoking on that "la". I'll smoke when I'm bored and there doesn't seem like there's anything else to do, I'll smoke when I'm pooped out and exhausted after work, I'll smoke right before going out to eat or to enhance a movie-going experience- hell, I've even smoked a couple times on my break during lecture/work. What was a once-in-a-while experience slowly turned into a regular habit, naturalized into my day to day comings and goings.

To me, smoking sessions represent a vast number of things. They are sometimes the only thing to liberate me from an extra exhausting day at work, or as a reward for pulling that all-nighter to produce an A paper. They are a way to enhance many activities that would otherwise (in my warped, pot-head mind) be boring, mundane, and normal (really though, would The Hangover or Borat have been that funny if I weren't stoned?). Above all, and mainly because I have never smoked by my lonesome and don't intend to, they are a highly socialized activity that have allowed me to link up with friends and peers who have otherwise extremely different lifestyles and interests. I've bonded with people over an especially intense smoking session and I've been able to see certain people more regularly because of this one mutual hobby.

Recently though, since school got out for the summer, I've found that I've been smoking more and more pot, spending waaay too much time/money/effort that I simply cannot afford. It's to the point where I will wake up and during my daily morning meditations tell myself "Today I will not smoke". That is easier said than done, because surely by the end of the night some occasion calling for a joint, or some long lost stoner friend will give me a call. It's slowly replacing any activity I once treasured...
Looking back at my increasing cannabis consumption makes me think of all the things I've stood to lose: dates, study sessions, protests and fundraisers, even exams and essays that were completely ignored "Because I got high"...
I envy the 17 and 18 year old me that could take weed in doses (no pun intended)- once in a while, casually.
So, I decided if one of my "alchy" friends could give up the booze for 30 days, why not try living a month or so of my summer without my comrade-turned-crutch, Mary J?
Then I figured, since I'll be leaving for the summer and going to a country in which I have no dealer connects, and in which drug possession is punishable by execution, why not try the "challenge" then? As an added bonus, I'll be there for 2 months so that'll definitely be more downtime..

With that, I say to all you pot smokers: SMOKE ON!
I'll keep you posted with my "progress"...