9/11

I remember being jostled awake frantically, and opening my mouth to protest, only to shut it again as soon as the pilot's voice came back over the speaker to confirm what he had announced moments earlier. I remember the utter confusion, the dazed expressions of everyone around me, trying to make any sense of what they had all just learned. I remember watching dozens of my fellow passengers rush to the nearest TV  as we landed back at the airport. I remember stopping in my tracks and finally noticing the hundreds of conversations simultaneously taking place around me- the grief, disbelief, and perplexion I could hear buzzing all around me. But most of all I remember the silence. The hush that slowly fell through the crowd around me- some with their eyes glued to the TV screens, some with disoriented expressions still trying to understand what was happening, and some simply comforting a silently-weeping friend, relative, stranger...

And in the days to follow, I remember witnessing kinship, selflessness and an overall sense of "coming together" that my 11-year-old mind had rarely got to glimpse before. I remember the blankets being shared all around, the smiling, reassuring faces of airport staff, and quite simply, just the very act of "being there for one another" that everyone seemed to be actively participating in.

On September 10, 2001 my family and I boarded a late flight from Cairo, Egypt to Amsterdam for what we assumed was a routine stopover before continuing out journey back to Toronto. On September 11, while en route from Amsterdam to Toronto, throngs of eager fliers, myself included, were interrupted mid-flight by the voice of a confused pilot. He announced that "due to some attacks on the World Trade Centre in New York City, the airspace over North America has been 'closed'", forcing us to turn around and reroute back to Amsterdam. Just like that. Matter-of-factly, but in a way that suggested there was actually an overall lack of any facts. For the next few hours, strangers from all walks of life who surrounded me, joined me in annoyance and confusion as we tried to recollect what had just happened, and plot how they could carry on their plans despite this disturbance to their schedule. I think I may have actually been upset that I would miss yet another day in "Back-to-School" week.

It was only hours later, when we finally landed after what seemed like the longest flight I had been on, did the confusion give way to shock, horror, disgust and disbelief. Who was responsible for this? How did it happen? Was anything else happening that we didn't know of? What would be the global response? Would they catch the bad guys? THESE were just some of questions and thoughts that popped in and out of everyone's mind, while the images of burning towers and crashing planes played over and over again on CNN, which seemed to occupy every TV screen.

This was how I personally experienced September 11. To carry on and retell the rest of my experiences that week- stuck in the airport in a foreign country, contracting a bad liver infection that caused me to wound up in the airport hospital, and eating those god-awful ham and apricot jelly sandwiches- that just seems to overshadow the day itself. The infamous day that caused mass confusion, inestimable grief and loss, and a deep sense of comradery and community. The day that would forever etch itself in history among great wars, life-altering inventions, and revolutions. The day that forced everybody collectively AND individually, to face the reality of time, alter our psyches, look to others for help and condolence, and most of all face ourselves and the truth that only seemed to make itself visible at this time. That, no matter how cliché it sounds, or how hard our parents have tried to drive this notion through our head, time and reality can never actually be measured. That the values, things we've come to "know" about life, and all the reassurances fed to us, are futile and can be irreparably changed at any given moment. And that in the gloomiest, darkest moments when war, pain, and fear run rampant, one only needs to look to his neighbour to find sanity and an anchor again...