You ever wish you could do something right?
Like life is laughing at you out of spite.
Every corner you turn,
You hit a d e a d end.
Keeping your enemies close,
You lose all your friends.
Relationships aren't getting any clearer,
I can't face the person in the mirror.
Can't distinguish between comfort and pain,
Try to look for sunshine
Only thing visible is rain.
My sins start outweighing every good deed,
Its like the rose that grew from concrete
Is still an unblossomed seed...
But how do I begin to grow?
When a million seductive voices
Are calling me from below.
Echoing, screaming all my pride and sin
Apathy mixed with doubt bursting from within
Why's everything I touch seem to waste away?
Everytime I demolish a wall
It wont stay that way.
Can't figure out who I'm going to be
And when I see my dreams getting closer,
Thats when they always seem to flee...
From me.
Is this just self-pity from a disillusioned mind?
Or is there a TRUTH I'm looking to find?
If writing's the escape and the pen TRIUMPHS the sword
And every idea is immortal,
And salvation is in the almighty word,
Then how come we all linger
On the brink of self-defeat?
Threatening to implode from our self generated heat...
If every soul has its mate,
And to every night there is a day,
Then where do the broken souls go
To find their own fate?
c.e.
Showing posts with label CHRONICles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CHRONICles. Show all posts
08 March 2011
The CHRONICles: Can we get much higher?
The visuals for one of my favourite 2011 (or is it technically 2010?) songs: Kanye West- All of The Lights
Besides an appearance made by both Rihanna and Kid Cudi, you can also expect (or at least have a very good chance of expecting) a seizure!
When you see the lights, you'll know what I mean. Think Simpsons episode when they watch that seizure-inducing cartoon in Japan meets Hype Williams (who directed this joint).
Btw, the video comes complete with a warning that it may cause severe seizures.
Enjoy!
MY FAVOURITE SCENES??
By far:
Besides an appearance made by both Rihanna and Kid Cudi, you can also expect (or at least have a very good chance of expecting) a seizure!
When you see the lights, you'll know what I mean. Think Simpsons episode when they watch that seizure-inducing cartoon in Japan meets Hype Williams (who directed this joint).
Btw, the video comes complete with a warning that it may cause severe seizures.
Enjoy!
MY FAVOURITE SCENES??
By far:
06 March 2011
28 February 2011
The CHRONICles: random mind wanderings/reflections on the day: De
What is strength, what is selfglorification?
What is bravery, what is bravado?
We spend our whole existence conjuring up images of heroes in our lives. We give them traits invisible to the world, we attribute major accomplishments to them, and we build them up to mammoth heights.
Then on unbeautiful days we are shown who they really are.
We begin to see blemishes in their once perfect glistens.
We see cracks in their superior shells.
We see rough edges in their once flawless finishes.
Our once bold, unbreakable faith that had upheld the foundation of these distant statues begins to shake, threatening to give way...
How can we repaint the images we once ogled at with admiration?
How are we to reimagine the perfectious figures we once held in such esteem?
To what degree are we, the witnesses, capable of sustaining heroism...
What is bravery, what is bravado?
We spend our whole existence conjuring up images of heroes in our lives. We give them traits invisible to the world, we attribute major accomplishments to them, and we build them up to mammoth heights.
Then on unbeautiful days we are shown who they really are.
We begin to see blemishes in their once perfect glistens.
We see cracks in their superior shells.
We see rough edges in their once flawless finishes.
Our once bold, unbreakable faith that had upheld the foundation of these distant statues begins to shake, threatening to give way...
How can we repaint the images we once ogled at with admiration?
How are we to reimagine the perfectious figures we once held in such esteem?
To what degree are we, the witnesses, capable of sustaining heroism...
 |
| The Fallen Hero... |
27 February 2011
Models in hamster balls...
K I haven't seen this show since like the 3rd or 4th cycle, but boy was I glad to tune into the latest episode of the newest season this week to see this...
LOOOOL!
The 4th time around, and this is STILL hilarious! They look like hamsters in those little plastic roaming balls...haha..
Oh yeah, and the "I'm bout to leave this bitch with a bang" line is priceless...
LOOOOL!
The 4th time around, and this is STILL hilarious! They look like hamsters in those little plastic roaming balls...haha..
Oh yeah, and the "I'm bout to leave this bitch with a bang" line is priceless...
10 February 2011
the CHRONICles: rappers luh some whacky tobaccy
"Ayo, I smoke like a chim-in-ney
Matta fact I, smoke like a gun
When a killa see his enemy
I smoke like Bob Marley did
Add to that, that I smoke like the Hippies did back in the 70's..."- Styles P. ("I Get High (Good Times)"
04 February 2011
the CHRONICles: random shit
Ahh, the random things my stoned self stumbles on....
Who doesn't remember Chris Bale's infamous 2009 meltdown
Well, now you can sear the incident into your brain. After hearing this ridiculously stupid and catchy song (all "sung" by Bale, naturally), you can get mental flashes of the raging Batman...
Happy kush hour to you too...
And remember,
"I'm gonna f*@$in kick your f%#!in ass!!"
Who doesn't remember Chris Bale's infamous 2009 meltdown
Well, now you can sear the incident into your brain. After hearing this ridiculously stupid and catchy song (all "sung" by Bale, naturally), you can get mental flashes of the raging Batman...
Happy kush hour to you too...
And remember,
"I'm gonna f*@$in kick your f%#!in ass!!"
29 January 2011
27 January 2011
The CHRONICles: convos between my psyche
As I sit here inhaling the sweet smoke, allowing ever puff to tickle the back of my throat before it slides its way through the rest of my person, I am consciously allowing her to penetrate my psyche, too.
That familiar hazy feeling slowly washes over my mind, and I think about the effect she will behaving on my thoughts.
Kid Cudi's psychadelic "Marijuana" track is playing quitely in the background, but save for the manual clock ticking away to remind me of the time constraints that control my (and indeed your) life, I am surrounded by silence.
Silence and smoke.
And, of course, my consciousness. And right now it's asking: What of my relationship with mary j? On the one hand I have Cudi (who is at this point just the phsyically audible manifestation of one part of my mind)- "pretty green bud... I know you want to smoke..."
Perhaps the alluring voice of mary j, herself, i ponder...
That same side is the one who propels me to hook up with mary j everytime I do. It tells me that its never really a big deal, anyway- lotsa adults do it regularly, plus you're still functioning in life. It reminds me how good that effect will feel, how it'll calm me down, allow me to think in a different dimension, reassure me that things will always be okay, even if it doesn't seem that way in the moment. Most importantly, it reminds me that this very act of consuming mary j is simultaneously allowing me to hook up with other people, too- people with whom the only common denominator in our relationship is mary j.
But that leaves the other side.
Thats the one who scolds me, asks me- since when was functioning good enough? At which point do you snap out of the literal and metaphorical high and "smell the roses" (vs. the kush-bush?)... Thats the side that attributes to some of my insomniac spells...
It tells me that I can be doing better things with my money, energy, time, and focus.
That's probably the thought that resonates most...
That familiar hazy feeling slowly washes over my mind, and I think about the effect she will behaving on my thoughts.
Kid Cudi's psychadelic "Marijuana" track is playing quitely in the background, but save for the manual clock ticking away to remind me of the time constraints that control my (and indeed your) life, I am surrounded by silence.
Silence and smoke.
And, of course, my consciousness. And right now it's asking: What of my relationship with mary j? On the one hand I have Cudi (who is at this point just the phsyically audible manifestation of one part of my mind)- "pretty green bud... I know you want to smoke..."
Perhaps the alluring voice of mary j, herself, i ponder...
That same side is the one who propels me to hook up with mary j everytime I do. It tells me that its never really a big deal, anyway- lotsa adults do it regularly, plus you're still functioning in life. It reminds me how good that effect will feel, how it'll calm me down, allow me to think in a different dimension, reassure me that things will always be okay, even if it doesn't seem that way in the moment. Most importantly, it reminds me that this very act of consuming mary j is simultaneously allowing me to hook up with other people, too- people with whom the only common denominator in our relationship is mary j.
But that leaves the other side.
Thats the one who scolds me, asks me- since when was functioning good enough? At which point do you snap out of the literal and metaphorical high and "smell the roses" (vs. the kush-bush?)... Thats the side that attributes to some of my insomniac spells...
It tells me that I can be doing better things with my money, energy, time, and focus.
That's probably the thought that resonates most...
21 January 2011
The CHRONICles: munchie time
The Chronicles: munchie time
Just a midnight munchie #BecauseIGotHigh:
- Mint-Chocolate Chip ice cream sandwiches
- Goldfish Crackers
- Peach Rings
01 June 2010
30 62 Day Challenge?
So let me just come out and say: over the past few weeks, as school ended, the number of inhaled blunts became countless, and my daily rituals almost always involved cannabis consumption, I thought what if I stopped fucking with Mary J for a pre-planned period of time? Thus, the 30 day challenge was born!
Now, before all you pot enthusiasts jump down my throat, and before I get phone calls from all my closest friends and confidants telling me I've lost my marbles, I guess I owe an explanation. I, like scores of people I know and millions of people around the world, often enjoy sitting back, relaxing with a close friend or a group of 'em and smoking on that "la". I'll smoke when I'm bored and there doesn't seem like there's anything else to do, I'll smoke when I'm pooped out and exhausted after work, I'll smoke right before going out to eat or to enhance a movie-going experience- hell, I've even smoked a couple times on my break during lecture/work. What was a once-in-a-while experience slowly turned into a regular habit, naturalized into my day to day comings and goings.
To me, smoking sessions represent a vast number of things. They are sometimes the only thing to liberate me from an extra exhausting day at work, or as a reward for pulling that all-nighter to produce an A paper. They are a way to enhance many activities that would otherwise (in my warped, pot-head mind) be boring, mundane, and normal (really though, would The Hangover or Borat have been that funny if I weren't stoned?). Above all, and mainly because I have never smoked by my lonesome and don't intend to, they are a highly socialized activity that have allowed me to link up with friends and peers who have otherwise extremely different lifestyles and interests. I've bonded with people over an especially intense smoking session and I've been able to see certain people more regularly because of this one mutual hobby.
Recently though, since school got out for the summer, I've found that I've been smoking more and more pot, spending waaay too much time/money/effort that I simply cannot afford. It's to the point where I will wake up and during my daily morning meditations tell myself "Today I will not smoke". That is easier said than done, because surely by the end of the night some occasion calling for a joint, or some long lost stoner friend will give me a call. It's slowly replacing any activity I once treasured...
Looking back at my increasing cannabis consumption makes me think of all the things I've stood to lose: dates, study sessions, protests and fundraisers, even exams and essays that were completely ignored "Because I got high"...
I envy the 17 and 18 year old me that could take weed in doses (no pun intended)- once in a while, casually.
So, I decided if one of my "alchy" friends could give up the booze for 30 days, why not try living a month or so of my summer without my comrade-turned-crutch, Mary J?
Then I figured, since I'll be leaving for the summer and going to a country in which I have no dealer connects, and in which drug possession is punishable by execution, why not try the "challenge" then? As an added bonus, I'll be there for 2 months so that'll definitely be more downtime..
With that, I say to all you pot smokers: SMOKE ON!
I'll keep you posted with my "progress"...
Now, before all you pot enthusiasts jump down my throat, and before I get phone calls from all my closest friends and confidants telling me I've lost my marbles, I guess I owe an explanation. I, like scores of people I know and millions of people around the world, often enjoy sitting back, relaxing with a close friend or a group of 'em and smoking on that "la". I'll smoke when I'm bored and there doesn't seem like there's anything else to do, I'll smoke when I'm pooped out and exhausted after work, I'll smoke right before going out to eat or to enhance a movie-going experience- hell, I've even smoked a couple times on my break during lecture/work. What was a once-in-a-while experience slowly turned into a regular habit, naturalized into my day to day comings and goings.
To me, smoking sessions represent a vast number of things. They are sometimes the only thing to liberate me from an extra exhausting day at work, or as a reward for pulling that all-nighter to produce an A paper. They are a way to enhance many activities that would otherwise (in my warped, pot-head mind) be boring, mundane, and normal (really though, would The Hangover or Borat have been that funny if I weren't stoned?). Above all, and mainly because I have never smoked by my lonesome and don't intend to, they are a highly socialized activity that have allowed me to link up with friends and peers who have otherwise extremely different lifestyles and interests. I've bonded with people over an especially intense smoking session and I've been able to see certain people more regularly because of this one mutual hobby.
Recently though, since school got out for the summer, I've found that I've been smoking more and more pot, spending waaay too much time/money/effort that I simply cannot afford. It's to the point where I will wake up and during my daily morning meditations tell myself "Today I will not smoke". That is easier said than done, because surely by the end of the night some occasion calling for a joint, or some long lost stoner friend will give me a call. It's slowly replacing any activity I once treasured...
Looking back at my increasing cannabis consumption makes me think of all the things I've stood to lose: dates, study sessions, protests and fundraisers, even exams and essays that were completely ignored "Because I got high"...
I envy the 17 and 18 year old me that could take weed in doses (no pun intended)- once in a while, casually.So, I decided if one of my "alchy" friends could give up the booze for 30 days, why not try living a month or so of my summer without my comrade-turned-crutch, Mary J?
Then I figured, since I'll be leaving for the summer and going to a country in which I have no dealer connects, and in which drug possession is punishable by execution, why not try the "challenge" then? As an added bonus, I'll be there for 2 months so that'll definitely be more downtime..
With that, I say to all you pot smokers: SMOKE ON!
I'll keep you posted with my "progress"...
23 April 2010
Four Twenty
So I was "surfing" the net and ended up on one of the most entertaining sites that I regularly visit: worldstarhiphop.com... I've gotta admit, I don't really visit the site to check out up and coming rappers, nor do I go to it in hopes of expanding my hiphop palette, which I am already content with. No, the reason I, like hundreds of other net-surfers, visit the site is to check out absolutely hilarious, ridiculous, ludicrous and downright outrageous videos that are posted daily. I'm talking about amateur footage of crackhead fights, clips from local news networks of 9-year old drug dealers, and throwback clips of perverted Canadian game-show hosts (i.e. dude from "Just Like Mom" forcing preteen girls to kiss him). Amidst all the countless footage of rappers, rodents, street brawls and Kat Stacks defences, I was surprised to find this video, from my very own home city:
Now, when I first clicked the link, I was looking to see a video of some MORONS from somewhere down south causing ruckus on 4:20, a.k.a International Weed Day, an otherwise (for obvious reasons) relatively peaceful day. As soon as the video began, I quickly recognized the location as Dundas Square in downtown Toronto, and the reporter as one from Toronto's CityTV news. I realized that these gun-toting idiots were right in my backyard, and that these same havoc-wreckers were the ones that had almost ruined my, and hundreds of other stoners' 4 20 festivities. THESE were the dudes that had almost got my friends and I stampeded as we sat in the middle of the Square lighting up to celebrate...
I guess at this point I can give a brief breakdown about 4 20, or at least what I've been able to gather in the past couple of years. In high school I used to hear the older kids talking about it discreetly in the hallways, all members of the elite smokers squad. By the time I had started smoking myself, I looked forward to that one April day in which the world, or at least the world I lived in, would validate pot smokers like myself. The fact that I would see cops surrounding the groups who had met spontaneously across the city to light up, doing nothing, gave me a sense of comfort. Their presence and inaction was equal to them admitting that the act of smoking weed is not as scary and detrimental to society as decision-makers would have us believe. I was also pleased to learn that those counter-culturalist cannibas consumers would gather on this day in different parts of the world, but mainly Canada and the U.S. I don't know why this particular day was chosen, but it's rumoured that its origins are founded in a group of 1970's Californian teens who would meet up at 4:20 after school for a daily session.
I had never actually participated in any real 4:20 events myself, save for the specially rolled blunts I would consume with my friends to celebrate, or the "I <3 Mary Jane" pin that I've been parading around for some years now. This year though, what with the early end to my exams and number of Facebook invites, I decided to head on downtown to meet up with fellow pot smokers, and rally for the legalization of weed while partaking in some smoking myself. I got down there with a couple of friends and was surprised by the sheer number of people who had decided to show up; as I later learned, this was one of the largest turn-outs in Toronto in all the years it had been organized. There were bongs, empty zig zag packs, and green apparel galore! Suddenly I didn't feel so out of place with my huge hand-made pot leaf necklace. We found a comfortable spot on the ground smack dab in the middle of the "action" and started our own session, amidst the hundreds of joints being passed around us.
Sometime around 4:00 (4:06 as the reporter pointed out), there was some sort of crazy commotion going on near the stage, and I literally began to see dozens of crazed stoners running in our direction, or at least toward Yonge St. I donno if the weed was super good, or if that feeling of paranoia commonly shared by smokers was rampant, but it all felt like slow-motion. I heard someone yelling "police! police!", which I've gotta admit, was a little confusing because we had been surrounded by police the entire time. I somehow managed to pick up the camera, lighters, papers, munchies, and other sprawled out belongings that were enhancing our festivities, and dash through the crowd right before possibly getting stampeded. I instantly felt silly when I reached the street and noticed that a few people hadn't so much as blinked, but were still firmly planted on the ground enjoying their Mary Jane. Apparently, there was some gun play which resulted in all this ruckus. I headed back in, hoping to find my friends and sure enough they were in the same spot. My relief soon subsided though, as we learned that amongst the confusion we had lost the dope!
Anyway, finding this clip on worldstarhiphop.com just reinforces the fact that these guys were losers. Sure, the crowd was able to regather for the 4:20 countdown and I got to witness the hugest simultaneous Dundas Square light-up complete with overhead Mary Jane cloud. The point is though, when you show up to a protest about an illegal substance, the last thing you should be doing is confirming the point that the authorities are already trying to make about the effects of pot. These dudes just played the role of anti-marijuana posterboys! What I found even more hilarious, upon watching the clip itself, was the fact that the entire thing looked like a staged publicity stunt!
58 seconds into the video, we get a glimpse of the "victim". As the dude being interviewed (who happens to be some sort of rapper) explains, "...my producer here, with Certified Cash... we just had to disarm him..." Can someone say shameless plugin?
Anyway, hope you enjoy the video as much as I did. Thankfully, I didn't see myself on camera, but I thiiiink I spotted the top of my head at the part where the crowd makes a run for it and disperses...
HAPPY BELATED 4 20 KIDDOS!
remember,
Don't drink and drive, fly and smoke...
P.S
The moral of the story is, LEAVE THE GUNS AT HOME! Don't be that one moron who shows up to a peaceful protest/celebration and ruins it for everyone by bringing his "beef"... Just crush a bit, roll it up, take a hit and leave the violence at home...
Now, when I first clicked the link, I was looking to see a video of some MORONS from somewhere down south causing ruckus on 4:20, a.k.a International Weed Day, an otherwise (for obvious reasons) relatively peaceful day. As soon as the video began, I quickly recognized the location as Dundas Square in downtown Toronto, and the reporter as one from Toronto's CityTV news. I realized that these gun-toting idiots were right in my backyard, and that these same havoc-wreckers were the ones that had almost ruined my, and hundreds of other stoners' 4 20 festivities. THESE were the dudes that had almost got my friends and I stampeded as we sat in the middle of the Square lighting up to celebrate...
I guess at this point I can give a brief breakdown about 4 20, or at least what I've been able to gather in the past couple of years. In high school I used to hear the older kids talking about it discreetly in the hallways, all members of the elite smokers squad. By the time I had started smoking myself, I looked forward to that one April day in which the world, or at least the world I lived in, would validate pot smokers like myself. The fact that I would see cops surrounding the groups who had met spontaneously across the city to light up, doing nothing, gave me a sense of comfort. Their presence and inaction was equal to them admitting that the act of smoking weed is not as scary and detrimental to society as decision-makers would have us believe. I was also pleased to learn that those counter-culturalist cannibas consumers would gather on this day in different parts of the world, but mainly Canada and the U.S. I don't know why this particular day was chosen, but it's rumoured that its origins are founded in a group of 1970's Californian teens who would meet up at 4:20 after school for a daily session.
I had never actually participated in any real 4:20 events myself, save for the specially rolled blunts I would consume with my friends to celebrate, or the "I <3 Mary Jane" pin that I've been parading around for some years now. This year though, what with the early end to my exams and number of Facebook invites, I decided to head on downtown to meet up with fellow pot smokers, and rally for the legalization of weed while partaking in some smoking myself. I got down there with a couple of friends and was surprised by the sheer number of people who had decided to show up; as I later learned, this was one of the largest turn-outs in Toronto in all the years it had been organized. There were bongs, empty zig zag packs, and green apparel galore! Suddenly I didn't feel so out of place with my huge hand-made pot leaf necklace. We found a comfortable spot on the ground smack dab in the middle of the "action" and started our own session, amidst the hundreds of joints being passed around us.
Sometime around 4:00 (4:06 as the reporter pointed out), there was some sort of crazy commotion going on near the stage, and I literally began to see dozens of crazed stoners running in our direction, or at least toward Yonge St. I donno if the weed was super good, or if that feeling of paranoia commonly shared by smokers was rampant, but it all felt like slow-motion. I heard someone yelling "police! police!", which I've gotta admit, was a little confusing because we had been surrounded by police the entire time. I somehow managed to pick up the camera, lighters, papers, munchies, and other sprawled out belongings that were enhancing our festivities, and dash through the crowd right before possibly getting stampeded. I instantly felt silly when I reached the street and noticed that a few people hadn't so much as blinked, but were still firmly planted on the ground enjoying their Mary Jane. Apparently, there was some gun play which resulted in all this ruckus. I headed back in, hoping to find my friends and sure enough they were in the same spot. My relief soon subsided though, as we learned that amongst the confusion we had lost the dope!
Anyway, finding this clip on worldstarhiphop.com just reinforces the fact that these guys were losers. Sure, the crowd was able to regather for the 4:20 countdown and I got to witness the hugest simultaneous Dundas Square light-up complete with overhead Mary Jane cloud. The point is though, when you show up to a protest about an illegal substance, the last thing you should be doing is confirming the point that the authorities are already trying to make about the effects of pot. These dudes just played the role of anti-marijuana posterboys! What I found even more hilarious, upon watching the clip itself, was the fact that the entire thing looked like a staged publicity stunt!
58 seconds into the video, we get a glimpse of the "victim". As the dude being interviewed (who happens to be some sort of rapper) explains, "...my producer here, with Certified Cash... we just had to disarm him..." Can someone say shameless plugin?
Anyway, hope you enjoy the video as much as I did. Thankfully, I didn't see myself on camera, but I thiiiink I spotted the top of my head at the part where the crowd makes a run for it and disperses...
HAPPY BELATED 4 20 KIDDOS!
remember,
Don't drink and drive, fly and smoke...
P.S
The moral of the story is, LEAVE THE GUNS AT HOME! Don't be that one moron who shows up to a peaceful protest/celebration and ruins it for everyone by bringing his "beef"... Just crush a bit, roll it up, take a hit and leave the violence at home...
30 March 2010
woman I used to be
So it's Tuesday morning.
I walk into my Literature After Modernism Class 12 minutes late, only to be hit by a bag of shit. Apparently today is our Peer Review class in which we were expected to have a copy of our Final Paper's thesis, points we wish to develop on, and a sheet of points made by our T.A. I have none of the above. Not only do I have none of the above, I haven't even taken a look at the essay (mind you, it's worth 35% of our final mark). AND to add insult to injury, I've only read about 30% of the books we should have completed by now.
So, I can:
a) come up with something on the spot
(oh, you didn't know Bullshit was my middle name?)
b) be honest with my professor and ask for more time
or
c) fake an injury, grab my things and ruuuun the hell out of class.
What do I do?
Something to the tune of c). I "search" frantically through my bag for my make-believe notebook, mutter some curses under my breath, and jet to the door, down the stairs, and far, far, far away...
So when did this all start? How did Christine go from being an honour-rolled, distinguished, academically-awarded high schooler who managed to earn a scholarship for my first year at the University of Toronto to an unpunctual, careless university student who manages to still make good grades based on last-minute assignments and a whooole lotta bullshit?
Maybe it's the full time job. Maybe it's 'cause I have yet to reac
h the "student" mentality. Hell, maybe it's all the time I've been spending with Mary Jane.
Yea, that sounds about right. It's gotta be my mistress, Mary Jane...
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