As I sit here inhaling the sweet smoke, allowing ever puff to tickle the back of my throat before it slides its way through the rest of my person, I am consciously allowing her to penetrate my psyche, too.
That familiar hazy feeling slowly washes over my mind, and I think about the effect she will behaving on my thoughts.
Kid Cudi's psychadelic "Marijuana" track is playing quitely in the background, but save for the manual clock ticking away to remind me of the time constraints that control my (and indeed your) life, I am surrounded by silence.
Silence and smoke.
And, of course, my consciousness. And right now it's asking: What of my relationship with mary j? On the one hand I have Cudi (who is at this point just the phsyically audible manifestation of one part of my mind)- "pretty green bud... I know you want to smoke..."
Perhaps the alluring voice of mary j, herself, i ponder...
That same side is the one who propels me to hook up with mary j everytime I do. It tells me that its never really a big deal, anyway- lotsa adults do it regularly, plus you're still functioning in life. It reminds me how good that effect will feel, how it'll calm me down, allow me to think in a different dimension, reassure me that things will always be okay, even if it doesn't seem that way in the moment. Most importantly, it reminds me that this very act of consuming mary j is simultaneously allowing me to hook up with other people, too- people with whom the only common denominator in our relationship is mary j.
But that leaves the other side.
Thats the one who scolds me, asks me- since when was functioning good enough? At which point do you snap out of the literal and metaphorical high and "smell the roses" (vs. the kush-bush?)... Thats the side that attributes to some of my insomniac spells...
It tells me that I can be doing better things with my money, energy, time, and focus.
That's probably the thought that resonates most...
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