30 Day Challenge: DAY 2: closest person

Day 2: A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.

This one was easy: my big sister (right), MARZ!! (a.k.a Marlin)


We never agree about anything, we get under each other's skins, and we're both the hardest-headed mofo's I know- but that has allowed us to become as close as can be. You taught me most of what I know, you encourage me to challenge myself and push the limit, and even though you don't always show it, you believe in me and my dreams.
I couldn't ask for someone who understands me, forces me to face myself, and makes me own up to my consequences more than you do.
You've guided me, protected me, loved me, travelled the world with me, altered my thinking, partied hard with me, and accepted me. Whenever we have a falling out, I know it's never the end- not just because we're family, but because we complete each other. You're the yin to my yang, the milk to my Lucky Charms, and the Brain to my Pinky.
As my tarot-card reader once put it, we're one soul, divided in half and that is why we'll always find our way back to each other...

30 Day Challenge: DAY 1: Me

Day 1: A picture of you and 15 facts

1. I have a deeply embedded love affair with readings/books/literature and am obsessed with the idea of recording one's internal workings on paper (or blog, for what its worth :p)
2. I need to be challenged in order to be productive.
3. I'm misunderstood.
4. I hate the texture/smell/taste of most seafood, but envy those who know their seafood.
5.  Yellow and black are my favourite colours, but I wear too much black!
6. I often toy with the idea of picking a destination at random, buying a one-way flight and seeing what unfolds (till reality reminds me of the limits of being a female).
7. I'm deathly scared of failing at life, and that is the source of much of my restlessness
8. I'm a dreamer in the thorough-est sense, and sometimes that can distract me from acting on my dreams
9. The number one place I want to see most is India, followed by 25634 other places I wanna see before I die.
10. I'm drawn to people who can vibe with my thoughts, challenge my thinking, provide insight into who I am, discuss current affairs with me, engage in thought-provoking conversations, and see the world on multi-levels like I do
11. "I'm like Che Guevarra with bling on, I'm complex"- I often find myself torn between the innate materialist with a capitalist mentality who dwells within me, and the idealist with humanitarian values and a sometimes overly-whimsical vision of how I can change the world.
12. I place certain people on high pedastools, and unfortunately this has made me all-too familiar with disappointment.
13. I hate tomato insides, spicy food, white onions, chicken wings, raisins, dark chocolate, bacon (and most red meat), pizza toppings, etc, etc, etc- I guess I might be a bit of a picky eater 
14. I can be kinda selective when it comes to guys, and that usually gives a wrong impression about me
15. I find I'm usually drawn to men/friends/acquaintances who are older in age

30 Day Challenge

I was on my cousin's Facebook a couple of weeks ago, when I noticed something she was doing that really caught my attention. Enter: the 30 Day Challenge.
Based on the 30-Day Tumblr Challenge in which post-ers were asked to post something new everyday (i.e Day X- favourite song, Day Z- photo of someone you love, etc.), this one is picture-based. The idea is to help others gain some insight into who you are at your core, while teaching something new about yourself to those who already know you well.
Anyways, it seemed like a really cool idea, and when I noticed how creative/unique my cousin's choice of photos were, I felt obliged to take part.


The list is as follows:


Day 1: A picture of you and 15 facts
Day 2: A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.
Day 3: A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 4: A picture of your night.
Day 5: A picture of your favorite memory.
Day 6: A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.
Day 7: A picture of your most treasured item.
Day 8: A picture that makes you laugh.
Day 9: A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Day 10: A picture of the person you do the most fucked up things with.
Day 11: A picture of something you hate.
Day 12: A picture of something you love.
Day 13: A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Day 14: A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 15: A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 16: A picture of someone who inspires you.
Day 17: A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.
Day 18: A picture of your biggest insecurity.
Day 19: A picture of you when you were little.
Day 20: A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.
Day 21: A picture of something you wish you could forget.
Day 22: A picture of something you wish you were better at.
Day 23: A picture of your favorite book.
Day 24: A picture of something you wish you could change.
Day 25: A picture of your day.
Day 26: A picture of something that means a lot to you.
Day 27: A picture of something you like to do often.
Day 28: A picture of something you're afraid of.
Day 29: A picture that can always make you smile.
Day 30: A picture of someone you miss.




Look out for my pictures!!

Building castles in the air...

"if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.


 He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; 
new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings.


 In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness. 


If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."


- Henry David Thoreau - ("Walden")

Jay Z's insightful look into hip hop...

"The story of the rapper and the story of the hustler are like rap itself, two kinds of rhythm working together, having a conversation with each other, doing more together than they could do apart..." (Jay Z, 10)

So there's been quite the hype about Jay's new book: Decoded. When I first posted a book of myself reading it on FB, I got almost as much feedback as I got about Willi Monfret's pic (and that was A LOT) lol.
Anyway, much to the dismay of some of my friends, I actually had pre-ordered Decoded, which was released on November 16. That day I went to pick it up the Eaton's Centre Indigo, and felt the sting of paying $40 (about $36 'cause I'm an "irewards member" *eyeroll*). Lemme just make it clear, I like saving money just as much as the next person, but I'm not exactly stingy; as an English major I've learned to never pay FULL COVER PRICE for a book.


So I got this book, and I hopped on the subway to make my way to class, and as I'm flipping through it I can't help but smile. I mean, I've seen "compilation" type memoirs before, but this is somehow different- it's actually kinda visually appealing. The pages change in colour, font style/size, imagery, use of text, photography, and lyrical analysis- like this, for example:

So anyways, due to the great old learning structure at U of T, I wont be able to actually ready the entire thing until winter break.
I read about the first 40 pages or, just to get a feel for it, and I guess you could say I almost had mixed feelings about it. I mean, some of things I read, I just had the instinct to either roll my eyes or dismiss them as over-exaggerations. Luckily though, that didn't really happen too often.

 I also found myself asking, what does Jay Z mean to us?- if he actually felt warranted to publish a bio. Well essentially, he means a lot to us- us as in hiphop listeners but also as in pop culture contributors/consumers; the latter provides a huge audience to the likes of Jay Z. Essentially, Jay Z is one of the most successful artists in a genre he watched spring up, and then helped to grow and expand. Jay Z, I would argue, is hiphop's Leonardo Da Vinci. Okay, Okay, before you start cursing at your screens, just consider what kind of comparison I'm trying to draw here. Take into account things like: what these artists have contributed to their respective art forms, how mainstream audiences respond to each artist, the level of undeniable talent each artist possesses, the parallel myths and exaggerations surrounding the two (Illuminati, anyone?), their places as pop cultural icons, and their huge successes both as artists and as manipulators of their environment (Da Vinci was a better inventor than artist, and Jay-well, we all know that all that money aint from rapping, alone).

I actually found it to be for the most part, insightful, thoughtful, and really explanatory. Jay is someone who has been there to see hiphop bloom, so at the very least, he can provide some insight into this growth. He's had first-hand experience with some of the events that have shaped this art form, like hearing Run D.M.C's "Sucker M.C.s" record for the first time, the debut of the first hiphop radio show (hosted by DJ Red Alert), and the first hiphop performance to be broadcast on TV.

Plus, as arguably one of the best lyricists of our time, you've gotta appreciate the innate writer who dwells within Jay Z the rapper. Jay has mastered the English language in the way our favourite authors have. He's mastered punchlines, metaphors, double entendres, complex rhymes, and knows how to manipulate his extensive vocabulary.

Finally, as one of the most successful hiphop artists, Jay necessarily understands, or has a legitimate perspective on hiphop. He does a good job of paralleling this with his own personal life, like in my favourite passage (so far, of course):

"My life after childhood has two main stories: the story of the hustler and the story of the rapper, and the two overlap as much as they diverge... People sometimes say that now I'm so far away from that life- that I have no right to rap about it. But how distant is the story of your own life ever going to be? The feelings that I had during that part of my life were burned into me... 

I went dead broke and got hood rich on those streets. I hated it. I was addicted to it. It nearly killed me. But no matter what, it is the place where I learned not just who I was, but who we were, who all of us are... It's my core story... that core story is the one that I have to tell... 

The story of the hustler was the story hiphop was born to tell- not its only story, but the story that found its voice in the form and, in return, helped grow the form into an art... 

Rap is also entertainment- and art... hustling is the ultimate metaphor for the basic human human struggles: the struggle to survive and resist, the struggle to win and make sense of it all..." (Jay Z, 18) 

Under these silk covers..

Under these silk covers,
I've had dreams about you that fade with the morning sun...

Under these silk covers,
I've empowered my brain, brushed up on my knowledge, and consumed many books...

Under these silk covers,
I've learned what it means to feel loneliness, quickly replaced with longing...

Under these silk covers,
I've had contemplative thoughts, deeper than the ocean...

Under these silk covers,
I've felt the stinging, drunken pain of defeat as I waited for sobriety to wane...

Under these silk covers,
I've battled insomnia unvictoriously...

Under these silk covers,
I've discovered the pleasure of a morning doobie, and the agony of untimely spliff...

Under these silk covers,
I've woken up in cold sweats, wondering if I should make it through...

Under these silk covers,
I've giggled at past memories, reflected on current events, and hoped for future plans...

Under these silk covers,
I've battled writer's block, spent too many all-nighters, and written enough to stretch from one end of the world to the other...



Under these silk covers,
I've been forced to face myself..

...Because under these silk covers,
it is just me against the world...

J. Cole paints pictures of hope

So, I realized I haven't really posted anything about Friday Night Lights. And as a friend of mine pointed out, that's pretty odd cause "you're like his biggest fan" (lol). Anyways, one of my favourite tracks is Before I'm Gone. I find it very moving, and very reminiscent of some of my other favourites, Song for the Ville and World is Empty, even Premeditated Murder.
One particular set of lyrics really stuck out to me, and I guess I just realized why...

"Them old niggaz sayin 'Cole the wrong one

Bringing the city shine

All he ever doin is painting pictures of crime,

Tellin stories of pain

Painting pictures of dope.'

Bitch if you listenin, I'm painting pictures of hope..."

And perhaps that is what draws me to J. Cole as an artist. That alluring factor that I look for in any book I read, album I listen to, or film that I watch. That through all that shit that flies around us, amidst all the "sham and drudgery" (Max Emeret) that this world has to offer, there is almost an essential beauty that can be found and pursued.
When J. Cole narrates tragic moments about the decaying city he grew up in, or tells a story of personal loss to gang violence, or places himself amidst these stories of crime and pain, its almost as if he's inviting the listener to open up about their own ills. And where many hiphop artists have largely left it at that, J. Cole takes it a step further by not only telling us that he got out of that situation, but also did so in pursuit of a bigger dream. I feel as though that is what propels an artist like J. Cole to make it new heights, and set such high standards in an industry that makes it so easy to get sidetracked. He admits he fucked up, clinging to the lifestyle of a villain, or at least the projected success that he visualized would come from this role. But by virtue of even realizing how terribly misleading these kinds of lifestyles are, J. Cole led himself in another direction: "You ever seen a nigga chasing dreams?... He don't pay no mind to the niggaz that's disagreein'..." (Song for the Ville)

It's easy for people who live in similar situations to judge J. Cole for portraying such a "negative" image of their hood. I mean let's face it, I get extra frustrated every time I hear an out-of-towner ask me about the gang-related "statistics" they've heard about Scarborough. And that's because I live here and I know that it's not the exaggerated ghetto that people make it out to be. But at the same time, to ignore the influence of "gang" (and I use that term liberally) culture on this city would also be inaccurate; go to any high school and you'll easily see kids who still sport bandanas out their back pockets. So when J. Cole says some shit like "reporters sympathizing like they know the pain...yeah right", he's assuming the role of accurate witness to the shit that actually does go on in his hood.
But, these same people who criticize his portrayal of their hood are either misquoting Cole's lyrics, taking them out of context, or have never heard any of his other songs. When he spits lines like "Time's getting hard..But fuck that, I'm aimin' for the stars...I wont stop. I'll try till the day I die..." (Can't Cry) off his FIRST mixtape, before Jay, before Rocnation, before any real radio play, there's something to be said. J. Cole is essentially calling on the people who live these broke, desolate, similar lives to try and make it out of them just by dreaming and trying: "Is you scared to follow dreams? I know you gotta have one. The opportunities be in your face, you gotta grab 'em.." (Song for the Ville)

With the recent success of his Friday Night Lights mixtape, current tour, joining his role model's label, and growing popularity, his message stands even stronger. I love that through it all, J. Cole has been so honest and personal and candid and specific about his hometown of Fayettville. There are song titles that refer to it, interview answers that explicitly outline his experiences there, and lyrics that paint images of the relatively unknown town. In one of my favourite tracks, Song for the Ville, there's such a deeply resonate message of hope that I would find difficult not to appreciate...

If we take hiphop as a valuable medium that even transcends art, then we necessarily must value mc's like J. Cole. He takes it back to it's truest and most original essence: a vehicle for social awareness, empowerment and subsequent improvement. Imagine a world we could live in if a bunch of 10-year-olds are told to dream, and then chase their dream with fearlessness and devotion. That it's cool to be "academically gifted" (2Face), and to make it to college (like J. Cole did successfully). That no matter how alluring the role of villain and all its possible rewards may be, long-term success and happiness will really only come through fulfilling their lifelong goals.
These messages, ladies and gents, are ones J. Cole sends, whether intentionally or not, through his art.

Movember

With all the mostache fun goin' on around me, I decided to do something fun in the spirit of "Movember".


"Movember challenges men to change their appearance and the face of men’s health by growing a moustache. The rules are simple, start Movember 1st clean-shaven and then grow a moustache for the entire month.  The moustache becomes the ribbon for men’s health, the means by which awareness and funds are raised for prostate cancer." (via the site)




Please visit
http://ca.movember.com/mospace/1034388/
to donate or support the Mean&Genius team as they take part in the fight against breast cancer



You can also track the progress of the team at http://madeinthecity.ca

Check out some of the posts so far:

http://madeinthecity.ca/blog/2010/11/03/we-bringin-moustache-back/


http://madeinthecity.ca/blog/2010/11/05/when-the-stache-grows-will-the-hunnies-stay/

An Ode to the Legends PART 1: Childhood Heroes

Recently, I remember having a conversation about the writers and specific works which have largely shaped my taste in writing and inspired me to ever wanna express my random thoughts on paper. These are the people and pieces I grew up on, related to, got lost in, was inspired by, or still refer to when my thirst needs to be quenched.

I decided to share some of these with you, but since there are sooo many writers to whom I owe credit, I will do this in little segments. Here, in Part 1, are some of my favourite childhood writers. These were the men and women, along with their books who opened my eyes to a magical world that I could get lost in. They are largely responsible for my boundless imagination to this day, and I find myself repeatedly pulling their works out of my library whenever I'm in need of a laugh, a tear, a moment of relaxation, or a reassurance about the crazy world we occupy...

(No order)

R.L Stine

Roald Dahl

\

Compassion...?

When I was a kid, I thought I could save the world. I know, I know- I also thought I would be a heart-transplant surgeon, that God was real, and that my dad was a real-life superhero. And then I grew up, and along with realizing that Biology was my arch-nemesis (preventing me from being a surgeon), I also realized that there was faaaar too much hate, drudgery, mistrust and greed in the world to ever really "save" it.
But no natter how much I tried to be pragmatic about it, and no matter how busy my own personal life has been, there's a feeling in me I cannot ignore. It's the same feeling that compelled me to stop, stare at Howard's photo, and commit to sponsoring someone I would probably never meet, in a country I barely heard of, with the last dollars in the bank account of a broke university student. It's like, as soon as I looked in his curiously miserable, yet underlyingly happy face, I could not turn away. And knowing myself, my values, and all of the things I preach to others, I knew that if it was in my hands to help this little boy, I could not just simple turn away.
Its the same feeling I get every time I get an updated newsletter from Invisible Children, about the un-declining problem of child combatants around the world. Again, how can I comfortably and safely live my life, often complaining about such relatively minor things as school and work; halfway across the world there are kids who will never even have the opportunity to go to school or work because they're too busy being forced to kill their own family and villagers (as child soldiers).
What is that gnawing feeling? What is it that drives me to attend "Free Palestine" rallies and events, to sponsor a little Zimbabwean boy, and to dispense every non-perishable food item in my house to the "needy" every time a holiday rolls around? Why is it so hard for me to ignore newspaper articles about social injustice? WHY are my personal library shelves full of books about anthropology, historically disenfranchised groups, social welfare and justice, and stories of the trials and tribulations of those who suffer?

Is it my own political motives? I have to disagree. By virtue of my own political views and values, that would have me wearing "Free Tibet" t-shirts, or handing out pamphlets condemning the Afghan and Iraq wars. I should probably even be out there scolding people who litter or leave their taps on too long. But the truth is, the environment is not up on the list of priorities for me, and although I am a whole-hearted pacifist, I've gotta admit I haven't really stood up against these most recent wars.

WHAT makes me get that "feeling of distress and pity for the suffering or misfortune of another, often including the desire to alleviate it" that defines compassion? Is this something we all go through and then ignore as our own lives crumble or flourish around us? I would have to disagree. Being an innate "humanitarian" is a part of my identity that cannot be easily shaken off. Trying to help the underdog and the oppressed is something I feel deeply about; I STILL THINK I CAN SAVE THE WORLD. 
No, this is who I am. And whether this is something I sub-consciously do to satisfy my own selfish motives, or whether these are selfless acts done in the spirit of being human (this whole idea of comradery I'm fixated on), I may never actually discover. I do know one thing, though- I will always admire and appreciate my mom's emphasis on compassion growing up, and her attempts at making us realize the world is so much more than what we see happening in the tiny vessels of our individual lives.
With that said, I urge you to go forth and 
BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE