Endless Summer Nights

So clearly I haven't  been updating this for a while now (comparatively speaking, it actually has not been that long, but I do wanna keep it regular).
So the past week has been absolutely HECTIC. Between pulling it together for my best friend's birthday weekend, packing for Egypt, doing back-to-back long shifts at work, linking up with people I haven't seen since high school, partying like the most seasoned rock star, and trying to catch rays of the sun, my blackberry turned its back on me this morning...

Today good ol' Blackberry reminded me of someone's birthday. Not just any somebody, someone whom I had held in high esteem, a very near and dear person. Normally I wouldn't have even needed the stupid reminder to remember this particular birthday, and indeed I'm utterly confused as to why I even added it to my agenda. Anyway, I recently had a falling out of sorts with this person, and I have not seen or heard from him in a while. It's just funny that one such insignificant thing could change your mood for the day. All of a sudden I'm gripped by nostalgia and wonder- is he doing well? Is everything falling together for him? Is he the same good friend who once filled the void of someone to understand me when no one else could? But most of all, I found myself wondering: Does he look at our once wholesome relationship with the tender affection of someone who misses their friend? Or is it all bitter memories, exchanging of words with our mutual friends?

The irony, I suppose, is the most delicious part of this. 5 months ago, as I eagerly waited for said friend to show up at my birthday party, I was definitely let down, albeit through, lets say, difficult-to-avoid circumstances (notice I didn't say impossible?). I may have overreacted, but I was actually shocked that of all the people to show up, one of my best friends hadn't really attempted to... Now, on the day of his birthday, it looks like we wont we celebrating after all.

Anyways, I suppose in the grander scheme of things it does not at all matter. He, no doubt, is living his life, and hopefully will have a good, memorable birthday. I too am far too occupied to pause and review things, and in a week it wont matter, because a 3 month absence could leave a damper on even the most closest, intimate friendships. The point is, life goes on. People change, people come and go, people are replaced. But, despite what they say, its not always easy to realize who is worth attempting to hold on to and who should just be let go.
I guess this is just a note of advice for everyone: fuck the decisions that your friends influence you to make, always be aware of what your friend and family relations are doing to you AND not doing to you, and don't have stupid fallings out with the people in your life who remind you of who you are. But most of all, don't keep people around because its convenient to have them, or hard to cut ties with...

Happy Birthday sonny, hope you enjoy it in the best way you can!