Journey of a S.E.L.F.: April 2011

I can almost see the words spewing out of my mouth before I can even stop and think about them first. The strange combination of anger, unchecked emotion, and a spiritual exhaustion that can only come from years of bottling everything up. Accusations come flying out, and my unjust unappreciation takes centre-stage. The messages become muddled into one long torrent of bitterness. They cease to make sense, cease to even be true, but what do I care-- I just want their crushing impact to be felt.
How could you look someone in the eye who you love and deliver stab after stab to their soul? Simple: by consciously trying to avoid listening to the own vile messages escaping your mouth.
How could you pretend their quickly appearing tears mean nothing, instead choosing to dismiss them as reflections of your own hurt and angst?
Most importantly, how could you bear the weight of defeating one of the only people in the world who's ever cared for you. The person who has had your back, even when you found yourself spineless. The person who watched from afar, but never too far, allowing you to be who you are, and then loving you for it.
How could you betray the most sacred oath made in a relationship between two broken people who found in eachother their own missing pieces: the promise you each took never to do to eachother what others had already done far too often...

How do you regain the sense of lost love and trust, if you ashamedly cower in your own solitude, trying in vain to convince yourself that you don't need them anyway...

The idea of the hero is one that seems to preoccupy Western culture, forming the basis for much of the literature, film, philosophy, and other popular-culture mediums that compose it. Our willingness to decorate soldiers and firefighters, play cops and robbers, obsessively consume old Western cowboy films or ancient mythology, and immortalize comic-book super-heroes all point to our eagerness to ascribe “hero” and “villain” roles. However, as one often comes to conclude, we must take a more discretional approach when examining who is a hero, and conversely, who is a villain. In fact, the issue is far more complex than a mere categorization of individuals or groups under either of these titles—most of the time, things are not always so black and white. Recently I devoured a book that reawakened these exact sentiments in me:

In her collection of poems under the title Ghettostocracy, Canadian author, poet, and spoken-word artist extraordinaire Oni the Hatian Sensation reawakens the “Black” community with a strong message: in order to understand the community’s needs and work to rebuild it, we must first work from within. An important step in this process is to reexamine the important figures that we collectively hold to be heroes. Oni invites readers to reassess our widely-accepted, if not imposed, understanding of what it means to be a hero or a villain in a number of ways. One important approach Oni takes is to present alternate perceptions of the hero and villain archetypes in our society by referencing specific individuals and general archetypes.
One of the most obvious themes in the Ghettostocracy poems is epitomized in her presentations of characters such as cops, politicians, church leaders, etc.—all who share the common denominator of being categorized as archetypal heroes in modern society. In fact, what Oni’s work suggests is that such figures are more often the “villains” than they are the “heroes”. Conversely, in her presentation of the “hood-hero” (inner-city neighbourhood “hero”), Oni shows that what mainstream society has deemed villainous may actually be held as valiant by certain members of society.

One of these perceived hero-types is characterized by “Reverend Seymour Cash”. This self-proclaimed “man of God” (who was at onetime a pimp) is still nothing more than a corrupt, greedy, evil man who exploits the community he pretends to uplift. Rev. Seymour, as Oni explains in the poem “Ghettostocracy” has “just raped the ghetto to escape into the upper class.” When he is presented again in the poem “Church” Seymour Cash is still the “sinistah ministah” he was in “Ghettostocracy”, this time explicitly partaking in deviant sexual activity with members of his clergy; one of the most revered community leaders, often looked to for moral guidance and leadership, is reduced to nothing short of a villain.

Other such embodiments of this concept are the cops and politicians found throughout Ghettostocracy. Unlike the courageous, caring, public-service-providing figures mainstream society idealizes such characters as, Oni’s references present them as detrimental, dishonest, and doing less to help the community than to exploit it. For example, she challenges the heroic legitimacy of our elected officials and politicians in “Elocution”, suggesting that the only way these people attain such sight-after positions is through a combination of sexual deviance and manipulation:

“Illiterate children in high school

Sucking teacher’s dick to get through

Shortly, they are on their way to college-acknowledged.

Some get raped and graduate,

Then become head of state…”

Such lines also draw attention to the tragic cycle, suggesting that had these “children” been properly guided and educated, rather than exploited by their teachers, they may have acted as positive agents within the community instead.

Even the United Nations is not spared from this criticism. Rather than actually function effectively, if at all, Oni renders the U.N crippled, helpless, and compliant in their silence in the poem “Why Keep Score”:

“United Nations, who are we?

Invisible witnesses to world catastrophes.”

But perhaps the most-visited hero archetypes in Ghettostocracy are the cops. We live in a society that largely idealizes the role of the cop in the personal lives of community members. But, the cop characters in the Ghettostocracy poems are instead portrayed as brutal, unjust, and racist, effectively blurring the line between cop and criminal. We are first introduced to this motif of villainous police in “New York Streets”:

“Police, cops, walking the beat,

On their feet, in the streets,

Are beating big Black boys, with their toys…”

This scathing criticism is revisited in “I Am Not Ashamed To Say That I Am in Pain”, as she comments on what she perceives to be a lack of “morality” from our police heroes:

“Morality?

Hah! Most police aint got none:

Pulling triggers on a gun,

Aiming at the young (cause they think its fun),

Having brothers on the run until their lives are done…”

Ghettostocracy is rife with references to popular cultural “hero-villain” figures- two of the more notable references being, first to Al Capone, then to Michael Jackson. In “What Happened to Michael Jackson?”, Oni attacks the race message she insists Michael Jackson makes through his orientation to typically “white” norms. When asked by her son whether he too will “be white when I grow up?” Oni replies that rather than naturally progressing to this, Micheal Jackon’s bleached skin and “political perm” are nothing more than sad attempts to surrender his “blackness”, playing into “hollyweird’s” obsession with trying to “make black colours nonexistent”. Oni’s critique of Michael Jackson reaches its climax when she suggests that Micheal Jackson is aware of this black demonization, but continues to sustain it: “Me thinks that Michael Jackson really knows this…”.

In “Gangster Alliance”, Oni speaks about the rampant gang violence within inner-city communities, particularly the streak of violence in South Central L.A in 2002. Oni’s allusion to Al Capone is particularly interesting in that she seems to absolve him from wrongdoing in this specific instance, a blame that has been imposed on the notorious mobster explicitly and implicitly by those in power. Al Capone is on one hand often characterized as a ruthless, manipulative, violent man of crime, and his legacy is often that of giving birth to organized crime in America. Whether this is wholly or in part true is of little concern to Oni, and as she suggests, should not be to us. The “inner city war zones” she speaks of in “Gangster Alliance” are “not caused by Al Capone”. On the other hand, Al Capone’s services to his community cannot altogether be ignored by his participation in criminal activity, as exemplified by his common characterization as a Robin Hood in popular culture. Oni asserts this dichotomy in “Iambic Pain”:

“Moors are not bandits

Some are misunderstood.

Robin Hood was cool-

Trotting on minions rule…”

Oni’s reference to Al Capone implies this idea of dual-identity—what some may view as hero, others view as villain, but who is right? Perhaps, as the character in “Making Scents” exclaims “And to think I once thought you were a winner!” what the community would benefit much more from is a reassessment of those people they deem “winner”- or heroes...