The Skeptic's Tinge of Guilt

"It is not certain that everything is uncertain."

- Blaise Pascal

I often think about some of the wisdom I've gained from my philosophy classes and one particular thing comes to mind: "Pascal's Wager".
Blaise Pascal (a French philosopher) basically IN LAYMAN'S TERMS suggests that it makes the most logical sense to believe in God because that route will produce more to gain and nothing to lose than any other path one lives. He does this by breaking it down:

- belief will lead to: 

a) heaven (if God exists)

b) moral benefits (if God does not exist)

- not believing in God will lead to:

a) hell (if God exists)

b) immoral consequences (if God does not exist)

Okay fine, I agree this whole theory (even when explored in whole, even when lectured on by one of Toronto's most recoginized modern voices in philosophy, Mark Kingwell) is a little thin and arid, its one of the first thing that strikes my mind whenever I think of my own place in the perpetually growing map of religion. And those thoughts, especially when shared with most other people, start to make me feel this strange tinge of guilt... maybe even shame?

Am I really shamed into feeling I should believe in something solid and well-organized?...

Think about it.
Everytime you make/laugh at that little sacreligious joke (What does Jesus order at a bar?... Holy spirits :| ) in poor taste.
Or how about when you have Sunday off, you've promised to accompany your mom to church and you sleep in?
The worst is when you're in someone's home (that someone of course, having made it clear they belong to a religion) and they begin accosting you with questions about your own faith...

And you begin to feel it. That little voice inside almost lashing out at you for such a display of "poor spirituality". Or even that you're being watched... and judged... by that Jesus of your joke.
And no matter how much you assert Christopher Hitchens quotes inside your head, you can't seem to escape that feeling. Who cares if in the end you've got reason on your side. When's reason ever accepted and appreciated in this world?...