30 Day Challenge: DAY 9: whose gotten you through the most?

Day 9: A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.




I'm sure this is supposed to be the part where you get all sentimental, post a picture of one of your conveniently appointed "best friends" and write a bunch of crap drawing on memories when he or she "got you through" something. While that's lovely and all, and I would not be who I am or where I am today were it not for the selected number of people who have helped me overcome things, this is also an exercise in honesty and self-realization. And what I'm slowly to coming to realize is the strength of my character, the tenacity I've surprised myself with, and the amount of bullshit obstacles life has thrown my way that I alone have climbed over and can look back at with a feeling of accomplishment.

I remember around the 9th grade, when I started becoming aware of the diminishing role Christianity (and any religion for that matter) was playing in my life an being more vocal about this, people's go-to question would be: "so what do you believe in?" And in automatic response, my reply would be "myself".
But as adolescence turned adulthood, real life, failure and plenty of proverbial scrapes on my knee would soon show me: it's not that easy to believe in yourself. I mean it sounds good to, and I'm sure all those mantra's you're taught to say while looking in the mirror are beneficial, but is that real? I guess, yes and no. More and more, I'm finding that in my darkest moments and lowest points, when my friends and family have failed to be there (whether thats their fault or mine), one thing remains constant- and that is me. I disappoint myself like every other human does, I make mistakes that I can kick myself for, and I exhibit very poor errors in judgment. At the end of the day though, when shit hits the wall and no one is around to clean it up, I leave myself no choice but to pick up and move. Move on, move forth, move away, move up- just move.
While I appreciate the role my loved ones have played in ensuring my sanity and helping me pick up the broken pieces, I've learned that I cannot always rely on this extra help. 


Thus, the person who has gotten me through the most is: ME.